This is really my present to myself, this journal. I'm never quite sure why I give myself such therapeutic presents. Sometimes they get used, most often they don't. Then again, the presents my family gives are pretty damn therapeutic too. Spearmint and eucalyptus massage oil? What the hell am I going to use that for? I am a massage-free zone. With Michael spending most of his time at work, it's fairly non-touchy here. Not that I'm complaining that he works, mind you. Especially now that I'm not.
I spend part of every day sending out resumes. The economy is soft, people say. It seems soft like a rotten tooth, to me. There's this air of chin-up, this patriotic fervor, but what does that mean, really? That we're going to war, whether or not we want to? Whether or not there's any justification for it?
I don't like the fact that our target switched from Osama bin Laden to Saddam Hussein so quickly. We have no documented proof that Saddam was involved in 9/11. None. Or if Washington has proof, it's sitting on it, and it won't share. It seems to me that Bush wants to keep us always on a footing of war, because then he doesn't have to concentrate on domestic problems.
I used to babysit this little boy...my cousin. His name was Jeremy, and I thought he was the cutest thing in the entire world. Not that I like kids. Not unless they're served on angel hair pasta. But whenever Jeremy had to go to the bathroom, and he didn't want to actually go inside and stop playing, he'd try to point to things, like airplanes and clouds, while he wet his training pants. You had to learn to look *down*, not up, to catch the spreading stain. Otherwise, later on down the road he'd just shuck his pants and go without, and you'd find yourself staring at a wet pair of underwear and pants in the grass, legs still curved as if they'd just been stopped in mid-gallop. Bush is like that. He points, and says "Osama" and then he points and says "Saddam" and all the while he's doing stuff he doesn't want us to pay attention to. Loosening the restrictions on the clean air act. Suggesting changes in the logging laws, so that they can 'clear away brush to prevent forest fires.'
But it can't last. I mean, sooner or later he's going to get called on it. Either he runs out of things to point at, or he has to actually go to war. And then we're in the soup. Because Europe won't support this for long. If they do at all. Tony Blair might be tighter than a tick, right now, but anti-American sentiment in England is running high. How long before *he* has to face the music? I have heard nothing that says that Europe is willing to support us. Even Canada is showing signs of disenchantment. That's a bit like being bitten by your Labrador Retriever. You never thought they had it in them.
What scares me almost as much as war..is what we'll come away with, when Bush is through. He's *doing things* behind the scenes, and the press is being very cooperative. They're not reporting on what he's doing, or where, or when. What wil we have left of the environment, of social programs, and what new and bloated shape will our national debt assume, when all this is through? Time will tell, I suppose. I hope I'm around to see it.