Log in

No account? Create an account

a passionate repentance



Previous Entry Share Next Entry
may God stand
When I was a little kid, I believed in impossible things.

Like the rock in our backyard being full of treasure.

I don't know why I believed it, now..it was a slab of pinkish granite from somewhere, and we loved to play on it as much as play with it. But I believed that if I could just manage to hammer it open I'd find some amazing, incredible treasure.

I believed that the wind knew my name. I heard it, calling me, sometimes.

I believed that ladybugs had secret places to go to, and if they stopped at all, it was to let you know where they were going so you wouldn't worry.

I thought that snakes were rivers contained inside skins.

I believed that if I just *tried* hard enough, and worked hard enough, and did all the things I was supposed to, that I'd walk like my sisters.

I believed that somewhere in the world there is a spot that is perfect, just right for each person. That if you can imagine it, it was real. And I used to dream of a pool hidden inside a cave. Or a lake bounded by tall grasses that grew right down into the water. Where boats, made of all these reeds bundled together, could take you wherever you needed to go. There was always mist on the lake. And mountains all around it.

I believed in best friends forever. That if you fell in love, that you'd always *be* in love, even if you couldn't be together.

I believed in eating all the good parts of your lunch first. Green pepper rings, all cold and crisp and tasing like mermaid food. The inner orange parts of carrots (You had to eat the outside first to get there first.) Cherry tomatoes. Really ripe pears, so that the juice runs down your chin.

I believed that you could be *anyone*. That as you got older and older you got more and more beautiful. That if you opened your mouth and tasted the rain you'd taste the dust that came from stars and planets and comets and things.

I believed that Robin Hood was real, and so was King Arthur and so were the Musketeers. I wanted to sail with Thor Heimdall, and study with Jane Goodall, and talk with Isaac Asimov.

I believed that you didn't have to be good at math (I wasn't and I'm still not) to love science.

I believed that when you died, you became an angel. Only I really never liked the whole thing about playing harps and wearing your nightgown all day. I always thought that in MY heaven you could eat ice cream all you wanted. You could run for miles and never get tired. You could come back and *help* people. Walk with them, and comfort them when they were tired. Give them hope.

I believed that baseball was invented by a grownup who did not believe in bathroom breaks.

*I still do.*
  • *I still do.*


    Thor Heyerdahl is one of my heroes. When I was in Oslo last winter, we visited the museum that holds Kon-Tiki and Ra II.
    • He's my hero too! Even though I totally got his name wrong. My mom read "Kon Tiki" to me when I was in the hospital and I loved every single word. I would close my eyes, and just imagine that I was sailing with him. He had such amazing courage.
  • You know what?

    I still do, too. And that's why I love you. Honestly, sincerely, and unconditionally. Though I've never met you, though I've never seen you, though you've never met me, nor seen me. I love you. And I think of you as my friend.
    • Re: You know what?

      I think of you as my friend too! And I hope someday we can meet.
      Did you ever see a film called "They Might Be Giants?" It was very odd, but it had the most brilliant line I've ever heard in movie dialogue. "The earth is shining, under the soot." Even now I'm not so sure that I got that right. I'll have to go check out IMDB and see. But it's brilliant. One of those strange little movies that just stay with you. Make you catch your breath because..what if?
      • Re: You know what?

        I've never seen it, but having read the entry on IMDB, but it sounds intriguing!

        We may meet, one day, one sunny day, when we can both believe there are fairies in the park! ;)

        Seriously: we may meet one day, and it will be wonderful. When friends can embrace, the world is alright. =)
  • This was wonderful, I now have so many great images in my head. Thank you! I am glad that they are dreamers like you, gives me hope when real life threatens to drown me.
    • I am glad that it reminded you you're not alone. There are ALL sorts of dreamers out there. I wrote the entry because I was feeling squinched by the world too. I hope that you have a better day.
  • (Anonymous)
    Mo glé dhaor,

    This was a really powerful piece of writing. Wow.

    - A not-so-secret admirer
Powered by LiveJournal.com