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a passionate repentance

Fall From Grace

Fall From Grace

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may God stand
I feel wierd. I used to be a Somebody and now I'm not. Even though I know it's not my fault and I know that everything's for the best, it still feels strange. And uncomfortable, like a rotten tooth. The kind that hurts every time you poke it, but somehow you just can't stop poking it.

I still don't have a job. Which makes me even more uncomfortable. And right now things are to the point where I'm not even getting search hits. It's making me feel small and scared.

I am mad at those who've precipitated this little fracas, in my private little playground, but it's not my job to yell at them. I don't want this to become the worm that infests the apple..but I feel like the *other* apple that got chopped down with the wormy one. And I've had my share of worms too, (not like that! :;swat::)

It's all winding down/coming apart. People are ashamed of their outbursts, including me. And I'm coming to the realization that what is..is. Sometimes it's enough to just..participate on any level. I don't have to be in charge.

It still feels strange though.
  • ::hugs::
  • Don't fret, my sweet little windfall! You're loved in hundreds of ways that will become self-evident before you even know it!
    • Exactly. You are Somebody to us, to your friends. And that is saying something. We do care, we do love you. *hugs*
      • Myng, thank you. That means an awful lot to me, especially now. I cherish the contact I have with you. With everyone in TEUNC, but especially you and the other TLJ'ers. ::Hug::
    • Angel girl, you are the best part of my day. And that's saying a lot. Bless you. Thank you.
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