Koinonia (koinonia) wrote,

I am lingeringly hurt and resentful of a situation, and people and I need to know how I can end this resentment. It's a sin, I know it is. But how do I do this? I can't just tell myself I don't feel what I *do* feel. Even when I know that what I do feel is wrong, and I am ashamed of it.

Also..sometimes Christ Himself doesn't seem very present in my life. I can feel the compassion that comes from other people as an echo of His compassion but I wish that I could feel Him. I don't want to be a saint. I have way too many sins for that. Way too many that I am afraid to give up. But I wish sometimes that I could just..feel something instead of it being a knowing.

I don't feel very spiritual. I don't feel like a very good Christian. And I feel as if I cannot pray until I can resolve this resentment. (Yes, before anybody asks, I've prayed about the resentment.) I believe it will pass. I just want it gone *now*.
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