Also..sometimes Christ Himself doesn't seem very present in my life. I can feel the compassion that comes from other people as an echo of His compassion but I wish that I could feel Him. I don't want to be a saint. I have way too many sins for that. Way too many that I am afraid to give up. But I wish sometimes that I could just..feel something instead of it being a knowing.
I don't feel very spiritual. I don't feel like a very good Christian. And I feel as if I cannot pray until I can resolve this resentment. (Yes, before anybody asks, I've prayed about the resentment.) I believe it will pass. I just want it gone *now*.