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a passionate repentance

It's today, already

It's today, already

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may God stand
So I went down to the doctor's office to get blood drawn for a cholesterol test. Last time I went they couldn't find a vein. This time, they wanted me to drink LOTS of water before they did the sticking.

Okay. I drank LOTS (and I do mean lots) of water. Like two and a half liters. I think I have visited every bathroom that exists in a straight line across Orlando. I arrived at eight o'clock am, after having gotten up at four thirty am.

This time they're actually *there* and I think 'hurrah'..a couple of sticks and it's all over. Uh-huh.

They got me on a table. Riight. You think this is easy? I laugh at you mockingly. It took two of them, and frankly they were more dangerous *to* me than helpful.

They stuck me three times in one arm and tried to stick the other but the fixed flexion in the left arm intimidated them so that they didn't stick me there. THEN..after having prodded me for twenty minutes per arm, and sticking, and tightening the blood pressure cuff and sticking and prodding, and..you get the idea..the doctor says "Okay, we're going to take blood from your groin.

Oh, no.

But I was on the table, and frankly..I was helpless. So he pulled down the pants just enough, and prodded there. And I'm ready to cry, thinking 'this man's seeing my cooter'. I didn't want this man to see my cooter* EVER. I don't show people that. I don't discuss it with people. It's a non-event here. But there he is, prodding away, and I'm wincing because it HURTS, folks..don't let ANYONE tell you 'it's just a little stick.'

Yep. Like that whole Germany vs. the world thing was just a little war.

Then, after announcing he can't find my freaking PULSE he gets the needle and sticks it in. I rose up off that table, I swear to you I levitated, spoke in tongues and my head spun around three times. I didn't just see stars, I saw GOD, and She was asking me why I let this man stick a needle in my cooter. To which I had no good answer.

He wasn't getting enough blood. So he WIGGLED THE DAMN NEEDLE AROUND. Is'nt there a human rights convention somewhere against this? Why isn't Amnesty International on his damn doorstep right now? I was proselytizing, testifying and screechifying all at the same time. I didn't just hit high C-above-C, I moved in and hung up drapes.

By now I'm sure his neighbors are complaining. So he sighed, and said it was no good, and took the needle out. And I think it was only the cotton ball and the bandaid that kept me from deflating. I slid off the table, and marched out of the office, with a note in my hand telling me to go to a lab and get them to do the sticking.

I'm sleepy. My body has realized that it hasn't had enough sleep for a while now, and it's upset with me. I have an hour and a half until my first class for work.

Did I mention that I'm sore in places my mama wouldn't want me to grab and say "Ow ow ow" in public?

Screw this. I think I'm going to take a nap.
  • Is it wrong to have laughed so much at your tale of personal tragedy? I hope you feel better after your nap. I hope you can take some aspirin or something. I hope you have tons of fun at your first class! Poor pinstuck dear! I hug you in utter sympathy for your awful icky pain! And for your frustration that after all that, you went through it for nothing! Ugh!

  • owies!

    Sorry to hear that...man it sucks when you have inept doctors.
  • I am heartily sorry you have to deal with this asshat ineptitude. That doctor is a sadist, frankly. I wish I could be there and stand up for you and tell the man to stick a needle in *his* groin and wiggle it around for a while.

    Grrrr.
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