?

Log in

a passionate repentance

It's always the little things

It's always the little things

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
may God stand
So..our mattress shifts a little every time I get in and out of bed. Or whenever the husbnd gets in or out of bed. I have to get out of bed at the end of the bed, because I can hand onto the hwheelchair. Yeah, it's complicated. Cerebral Palsy is just weird all right? So the mattress was shifted too far foward, and voila. I couldn't pull the chair close enough to me to get to my feet. When I sat back down, I sat on the part of the mattress that was hanging over, and I couldn't get my feet under me. I couldn't scoot back. I couldn't reach anything. So I was stuck there, until my husband came home from work at five pm.

Talk about freaking BORING.

And the revelation that..no. I *can't* live alone. I can't take care of myself without fear of accident.

Shit.

I'm not scared, I'm *mad*

Mad at myself because somehow somewhere I must have screwed something up badly to get so used to this living with him. I need to be able to live by myself. I don't need to live by myself . I need to be ABLE to do so.

Okay, yeah, mad *and* scared.

Like Mr Bennett, though..this is my sowing what I've reaped. I ought to be scared and mad. It'll pass soon enough. Maybe I can actually work some changes out of it.

Crap, everything hurts *already*. I'd have thought it'd wait until the next morning out of respect.
  • I'm sorry! That must have been so frustrating. To be dependent on someone else, anyone else, is difficult. Is there some way you can anchor the mattress more firmly in place so it doesn't shift?
  • :-(

    *very tender robed embrace*

    ♥ ♥ ♥
  • hug

    hug love you right there with
Powered by LiveJournal.com